Kinnikumantaro and the Holy grail
by Billie-girl
Summary: The sad, sad aftermath of Ultimate Muscle Monty Python... So very, VERY sad rated for certian subjects in scene 3 oooooh
1. Default Chapter

Kinnikumantaro and the holy grail  
  
Part 1  
  
****************  
  
The scene starts with Mantaro skipping towards an old english castle with Seiuchin. A guard comes out.  
  
"HALT! Who goes there?"  
  
"It is I Kinnikumantaro son of Kinnikuman of Planet Muscle! Prince of Planet Muscle! Defeater of the dMp! Soverign of all IWF!"  
  
"Pull the other one!"  
  
"I am. and this is my trusty walrus Seiuchin. We have riddin the length of many lands; well basicly just the Tokyo and Mt. Fugi areas looking for wrestlers who will join me in the International Wresteling Federation. Will you go and ask your lord and master if he will join us?"  
  
"What riddin on a horse?"  
  
"yes"  
  
"you're using cocanuts!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You've got two empty ends of cocanuts and you're baggin them together!"  
  
"It doesn't matter will you ask your master if h-"  
  
"Where'd you get the cocanuts?"  
  
"We found them?"  
  
"Found them? at Mt. Fugi! Cocanuts are tropical!"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well Mt. Fugi is a temperate zone.... Cocanuts don't grow here!"  
  
"Terry the Kid may not be from Mt. Fugi. Nor Checkmate or Gazelle, yet these are not straingers to Japan."  
  
"Are you sugestion cocanuts flew to Japan in space ships?"  
  
"Of course not! they're imported by boats along with bananas and pinapples and other delicous and healthy fruits from the carribean."  
  
"On a Boat? And have the banana's arrive all brown and mushy?"  
  
"They can pick them when they're green"  
  
"It doesn't matter if they are green! It's a simple matter of expiration. A green banana will turn yellow in around three to five days and three to five days after that it is brown and mushy!"  
  
"It doesn't matter will you PLEASE ask you lord and master if he will join us in the IWF!"  
  
"Look in order to conserve its fuel a cargo ship will take at least two to three weeks to cross the Pasific to Japan am I right?"  
  
"I DON'T CARE!"  
  
"Am I right?"  
  
Another guard comes out, "Some cruise ships go really fast."  
  
"Some curise ships maybe but not most cargo ships,"  
  
"Oh yea."  
  
Mantaro butted in, "WILL YOU ASK YOU LORD AND MASTER IF HE WILL JOIN US!!!!!!"  
  
"but then, cruise ships don't usually go directly across the ocean you know. They take stops at little islands,"  
  
"Oh yea."  
  
Mantaro and Seuchin galloped/skipped away into the horizion.  
  
"Wait suppose one of the companies bought a cruise ship to transport goods."  
  
"Are you crazy?! Do you have any idea how much those things cost!!!!!"  
  
"IT WOULD BE A GOOD INVESTMENT!!!!!" 


	2. part two

Part 2  
  
***********  
  
Meat- "Bring out your losers!"  
  
-clank  
  
Meat- "Bring out your losers!"  
  
-clank  
  
Meat- "Bring out your losers!"  
  
-clank  
  
Meat- "Bring out your losers! ninepence."  
  
Jade comes out with Terry the kid on his shoulders, "Here's one"  
  
Meat- "that's ninepence."  
  
Terry- "I'm not a loser!"  
  
Meat- "What?"  
  
Jade- "Nothing here's your ninepence"  
  
Meat- "He says he's not a loser"  
  
Jade- "He is!"  
  
Terry- "I am not!"  
  
Jade- "Yes you are I beat you in that Chojin competition remember?"  
  
Terry- "I SAVED THAT LITTLE BOYS LIFE!!!!!"  
  
Jade- "It doesn't matter you still lost."  
  
Terry- "I'm not takin' the Bull shit anymore! I don't wanna go with Meat"  
  
Jade- "Aw quit your bitchin and go with Meat"  
  
Meat- "Terry's got a point, there is a difference between losing and fore fitting..."  
  
Jade- "Well how about I fight him now and then you can take him,"  
  
Meat- "I can't wait! I've gotta get over to the Hercules school, they lost nine today"  
  
Jade- "Well when will you be back"  
  
Meat- "Thursday"  
  
Terry- "I think I'll go to the gym"  
  
Jade- "It's not gonna help you out any, your a washed up loser. Is their anything we can do?"  
  
Terry- "I am the son of Terry-mon He would have been the greatest if it wasn't for Kinni-"  
  
*Meat wacks him on the head with a mallot* "There beaten by a circus midget, now he's a loser"  
  
Jade- "right then here's your ninepence"  
  
Mantaro and Seiuchin skip by with their cocanuts.  
  
Jade- "Who's that then?"  
  
Meat- "Must be Kinnikumantaro"  
  
Jade- "why?"  
  
Meat- "He's got someone else to make the cocanut noises for him... we have to do it ourselves."  
  
Jade- "oh yea"  
  
Jade skips off banging two empty ends of cocanuts together.  
  
**************  
  
I didn't mean for it to be so anti Terry the Kid!!!!!! I really do like him it's just that I was watching the show today and I caught him in a vulnerable moment!!!!!!!  
  
SORRRY!!!!!!!!! 


	3. scene 3

Scene 3  
  
**********  
  
Mantaro and Seiuchin skipp up to a field with a castle in the center, Jade is dragging a cart of wheat. The licence plite on the back says !!JADE 3:16!!  
  
Mantaro: Old woman!  
  
Jade: MAN! god I'm tired of this....  
  
Mantaro: Holy crap your a guy? who names their son Jade? that's a girls name isn't it?  
  
Jade: Hey piss off will you! I don't make fun of the fact that you're a whiney coward who's got funny lips do I?  
  
Mantaro: My lips aren't that funny looking are they?  
  
He looks at Seiuchin for support.  
  
Seiuchin: I'm not going to answere that  
  
Mantaro: YOU GUYS ARE MEAN!!!!!! anyways Jade why are you acting like such a bitch lately?  
  
Jade: I was supposed to do one scene in this stupid parody and now I got to do two. AND I'M NOT GETTING OVER TIME!!!!!  
  
Mantaro: I thought you looked familliar you were that guy from scene 2.  
  
Jade: yea and just because YOU are the prince of planet muscle and YOU are the star of the show YOU don't have to do any of you're dirty work like making your own horse noises. While us co-workers have to make are own horse noises!  
  
Mantaro: Hey I can't help it if I'm too important to make my own horse noises, and why don't you just get someone like Seiuchin to do that for you? they're surprisingly cheap if you buy in bulk  
  
Jade: What, get Seiuchin's in bulk?  
  
Mantaro: NO! geeze... THE IRISH!!!!! There great workers and all you need to feed them is potato's or whisky.  
  
Jade: Seiuchin's Irish? that explains the fact he's never one a battal.  
  
Mantaro and Jade laugh at Seiuchin. A woman in a buisness suit comes into the scene.  
  
Woman: I represent the Society of Mistreated Talking Irish Walruses, that statement was politically incorrect! my client does not have to put up with this kind of Harassment and untill he recives an apology and a sum of $900,000 for emotional damage, you will have to find a replacement for him.  
  
Mantaro: Seiuchin, you're a member of the Society of Mistreated Talking Irish Walruses?  
  
Seiuchin: I'm also a member of the NRA for some reason. Now If you'll excuse me.....  
  
Seiuchin and the woman leave the movie set and hop into a limo full of playboy bunnies. Mantaro and Jade stand in disbelief.  
  
Mantaro: Excuse me for a second,  
  
Mantaro runs of to Gazelle-mans apartment. Gazelle and Makenzie are playing a combination of strip poker and twister, without the mat it come with (ohhhhhhhhhhh).  
  
Mantaro: Gazelle want a job?  
  
Gazelleman: MANTARO CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!!!!!!  
  
Mantaro: Well how long are you two going to be?  
  
Makenzie: All night long  
  
Gazelle-man and Makenzie giggle. Poor Mantaro looks like he's going to be sick. He leaves the apartment and runs back to the field scene with Jade.  
  
Mantaro: Hey Jade wanna job?  
  
Jade: Hell no! if you're not going to pay me over time than you can kiss my german ass!  
  
Mantaro: I'll by you a Rocket from the ice-cream truck.....  
  
Jade: OKAY!!!!  
  
Jade starts making horse noises with his cocanuts and he and Mantaro skipp off into the distance.  
  
**************  
  
Makenzie is a character from another one of my Kinnikuman II fics if you were wondering. Oh and please the Socitey of Mistreated Talking Irish Walruses is a non-profit organization and desperatly needs our donations. Please give generously!!!! 


	4. scene 4

Scene 4  
  
this is your brain..... 5X5X5=125!!!!  
  
***********  
  
Mantaro and Jade skipp through a medow full of pretty yellow flowers and cross a creek where a little kid named Charlie is pokeing a dead fish with a putter with poo on it cause there's nothing to watch on saturday afternoons and people must find other means of entertainment like dead animals or writing stupid pointless fanfics. As they enter the forest they find Chectmate and Eskara are in an all out bitchfight.  
  
The fight went on for a few minuites and Mantaro and Jade used this time to go to the bathroom. When they got back Checkmate open-hand-back slapped Eskara and decapitated him. The blood sprinkled out of him like one of those greek fountians. It was very pretty. Now Chekmate stood very still in front of a bridge, Mantaro went up to congradulate him.  
  
Mantaro: MAN! you totally bitchslapped that guy....  
  
Checkmate pretends Mantaro doesn't exist.... actually he's standing very still because he had chilly for lunch and if he moves a muscle, he's gonna let one rip.  
  
Mantaro: I was wonderin' do you want to join the IWF....  
  
Checkmate is still motionless.... he's actually praticing to be one of those British guards with the big funny hats.  
  
Mantaro: Well if your going to be THAT way! fine, now let us cross the bridge.  
  
Checkmate: Not untill you pay the toll  
  
Mantaro: What toll?  
  
Checkmate: The toll you pay for crossing me bridge.  
  
Jade: Wrong movie dum dum!  
  
Great Gazoo: Hey that's my line! Anyways dum dum has a point dum dum, this is a Monty Python and the Holy Grail parody In which dum dum here is King Arthur and dum dum is Patsy. You, dum dum are the Black night. What you are thinking of is Robin Hood Men In Tights, but dum dum is not Robin Hood, dum dum here is not Blinken any you are not Little John dum dum.  
  
Every looks at great gazoo. They are sad and confussed  
  
Checkmate: Who doth thow speaketh of when thows say 'dum dum'  
  
Great Gazoo: See, you guys can't figure even THAT out. You truly are dum dums.  
  
Jade: And who are you?  
  
Great Gazoo: I AM THE GREAT GAZOO! wolololololololo  
  
The Great Gazoo flys around letting out his native planets battal cry. Mantaro is getting a migrane and grabbs Great Gazoo by the head and thoughs him into a raging river of death with Patcha and Kusko. And their was much rejoice.  
  
Mantaro: Now where were we? oh yea Checkmate is standing in our way of the this bridge wich was not in the origional Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but it is here for some reason. NOW LET US CROSS!  
  
Checktmate: Not untill you pay the toll!  
  
Jade: Wrong movie.  
  
Checkmate: Oh sorry e'hem! Who would cross the bridge of death must answere me these questions three, 'ere the other side ye see.  
  
Mantaro: Well, you got the movie right but your thinking of the bridge of death the old man from scene 24 talks about.  
  
Jade: Actually that man was in scene 12, scene 24 was Castle Aaaaagh.  
  
Mantaro: No one's paying you to be a smart ass!  
  
Checkmate: Oh it's never good enough for you guys is it?! Ooooh that's the wrong movie! Ooooh that's the wrong scene! WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE? A TALKING IRISH WALRUS!!!!  
  
The SOMTIW lady from scene three comes up and kicks Checkmate in the shins and leaves with Seiuchin to play a friendly bed time game of doctor and nurse *ooooooooh* Meanwile Checkmate is rolling on the ground crying.  
  
Checkmate: what beith that wench's problem?  
  
Random pirate: Arrrr, she be the captian of the S.S. Transformers Generation 1. Meanest pirate broad to ever sail the great lakes of Ontario, and President of the Socity Of Mistreated Talking Irish Walruses.  
  
Mantaro: S.S. Transformers Generation 1?  
  
Random pirate: Arrrrr, she liked the transformers... particularly Jazz. yarharhar. Exit, stage right! *the pirate stares at the camera and show- dances of the scene* da da da dada! da da da dada! da da da dada! da! ZEST!  
  
Jade: Hey are you okay Checkmate?  
  
Checkmate: NO! that really really really hurt! *limps off crying* I WANT MY SUNSHINE!  
  
Mantaro: Well then..... lets continue!  
  
Jade and Mantaro once again skipp off out of the scene. Who know's what crazy quirks will happen when they meet the witch.....  
  
Rinko: I'M NOT A WITCH?  
  
Kiki: WHO SAY'S YOUR THE WITCH! I WANT TO BE THE WITCH!  
  
Rinko: YOU CAN BE THE WITCH I DON'T WANT TO BE THE WITCH! I'M NOT A WITCH!  
  
Kiki: I'M THE WITCH! ME! ME! ME! YOU ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING... I THINK I DESERVE TO BE THE WITCH!  
  
Rinko: GO AHEAD BE THE WITCH! I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!  
  
************  
  
/\ This is your brain after eating A LOT of peanut butter cups /\ 


End file.
